Death In Circles
by Rathias
Summary: The conclusion to the two-part story of a broken deal. Shepard finds himself in a territory he hasn't been in for some time - fighting a battle without the woman he has come to love. The Agent is still on the loose - and things aren't looking good.
1. Chapter 1

PROLOGUE

"_These violent delights have violent ends  
And in their triumph die, like fire and powder,  
Which, as they kiss, consume."_

Joker stood silently outside the science bay doors, waiting for any news on Miranda. Smith made it back onto the ship a few minutes after Shepard arrived and was sitting on the floor, resting her head back against the walls. She jumped to her feet instantly when she heard the door hum open, but the hopeful expressions on both of their faces were quickly dashed when they noticed the solemn expression on Mordin's face as he exited the room. Smith's form slumped, her chin falling to her chest as a feeling of losing a comrade came over her. Mordin rested a hand on her shoulder and gave a small nod to Joker before leaning down and speaking to Smith.

He didn't really know Miranda personally, but she wasn't as stoic as she tried to seem. Joker had seen the delicate glances she threw Shepard when she thought no one was watching. The subtle gestures of her body and the coy tone in her voice every time she called him "Commander" also hadn't passed by him unnoticed. It was obvious that she loved him - and that was good enough for Joker.

He began to turn and ask Mordin about Miranda's condition, but the hand held up by Mordin gave away all that was needed, and as the salarian doctor helped Smith back to her feet, Joker caught a glimpse of Shepard on his knees, clinging to Miranda's hand as it hung limply from the table. His stomach churned at the sight of his Captain – his _friend_– mourning the loss of the one he loved.

Even though Shepard had never explicitly said it to him, Joker knew how much he loved her. Ever since he had gotten close to her, the Commander had been a different person. Joker wasn't sure if it was what she had done when she had brought Shepard back to life or if it was just her, but for the first time that he could remember, Shepard actually showed more than just his usual somber expression. His burdens had been made lighter and it showed. The Commander had undoubtedly changed - and for the better.

A pained expression came over Joker's face as he heard his friend choke out Miranda's name in a quiet sob. As the door finally hissed shut, he wondered what Shepard would be like after losing his favorite reason for living – and he worried for them all.

Chapter 1

Shepard clung to Miranda's hand as emotion poured from his body. Mere seconds had passed since his galaxy had been torn apart, but already it felt as if he'd been without her for a lifetime. A million thoughts ran through his mind, but none of them echoed loud enough in his head for him to focus on them - except one.

"_She's gone._"

He slowly rose to his feet, sliding his fingers up her arm as he did, reveling in the warmth her skin still gave off. As his eyes rested upon her face, he smoothed her hair down and brought his forehead to hers. Her cheeks became moist with his tears as he brought his lips to hers one last time before reluctantly pulling his face away.

He had fought intense battles for hours on end, but nothing had ever drained him as immensely as these last moments had. Completely exhausted, he rested his head on her chest and wrapped his arms around her in a protective yet loving embrace. As he closed his eyes, a cruel vision overwhelmed his every sense and the vicious reality faded away.

"Shepard." A mellifluous voice flooded his ears and he reeled at the sound of it. "Shepard, wake up."

Not wanting to open his eyes for fear of finding himself in the science bay with Miranda's lifeless body in his arms, he squeezed his lids down harder.

An all-too familiar laugh startled him into submission and he slowly peaked through his thick lashes.

"I know you're awake," she said with a smile in her voice. "Honestly, you're worse than a little boy sometimes."

He opened his eyes to the most beautiful sight he'd ever seen.

"Miranda…" his whispered in amazement.

The edges of her mouth pulled up in a playful grin. "Were you expecting someone else?"

She lay beside him in their bed, her body covered only by the thin sheet that was draped around her. A tingling filled Shepard's stomach as she ran her leg between his and nestled herself against him. Speechless, he could only stare at her in awe. Feeling his body tense up, she turned to look at him, propping her head on her arm as she did.

"What's wrong?" she asked. "You look as if you've seen a ghost."

Shepard broke his statuesque pose and shakily moved his hand toward her. His fingertips met with the silky skin on her cheek and traveled down the line of her jaw, moving down her neck before coming to a stop on her chest. Miranda looked at him in concern as his eyes twinkled and a smile spread across his face.

"Shepard-" she started, but the look he gave her stopped her midsentence.

"You're… real," he said in wonder. "You're alive."

She snorted in amusement, but the concern didn't entirely wash off of her face.

"No thanks to Toombs…" she said. "But yes. I can assure you that I'm quite alive."

Her hand moved down Shepard's bare chest, emphasizing her point. Struggling to think clearly as her hand traveled lower, he realized with great relief that this was the morning after their ordeal with Toombs.

"So, it was all a dream…" he mumbled to himself. "The cabin fever, the poison, the assassin…. Just a dream…"

Miranda arched her eyebrow as her hand moved back up to his face. She lightly ran her fingers around his temple and looked into his eyes.

"I think you need to give this head of yours a rest," she joked.

Shepard responded with a slight laugh before leaning into her and gently tangling his free hand in her hair. He pulled her face toward his as he rolled her beneath him, his other hand never leaving the spot on her chest that it had found moments ago. Slowly, he brushed his lips against hers, drinking up the taste and feel of her breath on his skin. Finally, when he was sure she wouldn't disappear, he kissed her. He was sure Miranda thought he was losing it, but he didn't care as he kissed her harder, his urgency increasing by the second.

After a moment, he moved his mouth from hers and began kissing her jaw. He trailed his lips down her throat and paused when he reached her clavicle. He hugged her body with his arms as he laid his head on her chest. The steady rhythm of her heart beat strongly beneath him and, as he closed his eyes, he marveled at the beautiful sound. He felt her hand run over his head before he grabbed it, and held her hand tightly in his own. He focused on the beat as he slowly drifted off, never more thankful or more content than he was at that moment.

Just as he had almost fallen asleep completely, he felt her squeeze his hand so weakly that it was almost unnoticeable. He returned the gesture without opening his eyes, but alarm overwhelmed him as he suddenly realized the thumping of her heart was so weak that it was barely there at all. Panicked, he snapped his eyes open… and was nearly sick by what he found.

He was in the science bay, Miranda's body beneath him. She felt just as warm and soft as she had moments ago and her scent still lingered all around him… but she lay lifeless still. He choked as he inhaled sharply, the reality of the situation hitting him even harder the second time.

'_No!_' his thoughts shouted at him.

He turned and cursed, simultaneously knocking over the table of medical supplies that Mordin had set up. She had already died once today and now he was losing her all over again. Completely blinded by his emotions, he balled up his fist and punched the wall nearest him as hard as he could manage. He felt the excruciating impact as his knuckles cracked and broke. Growing silent as the pain returned him to coherency, he cradled his battered hand and walked over to Miranda. He grabbed her hand once more and held it in his broken one as his other hand rested on her chest. Unsurprisingly, there was no pulse. Nothing moved in her. Shepard felt as dead as she was.

Defeated, he hung his head, too worn out to even move. His body felt as heavy as his thoughts. As he was about to remove his hand from her chest, he thought he felt the faintest sign of life. His eyebrows shot up in disbelief. He didn't want to get his hopes up for another of his wild imaginings. Then he felt it again. Slowly, he moved his face closer to her… and he felt yet another beat beneath his palm. Quickly, he pressed his ear against her chest, desperate to hear anything but the piercing silence.

A second passed. Then another… and still he heard nothing. He was becoming angry with himself for getting his hopes up. Another passed, and a sharp pain in his hand caught him off-guard as he felt her hand squeeze his. The physical pain was followed by emotional ecstasy as he heard the most beautiful discord echo distantly inside her chest.

"Mordin!" he shouted hurriedly as he rose up and tried to assess what he could about her.

Mordin came rushing in, followed by Joker.

"She's alive!" he shouted, but his words were met with skeptical looks.

"Shepard…" Mordin started, but he was cut off.

"Shut up and check for yourself!"

Mordin quickly moved to Miranda's side and checked her pulse himself. Within a few seconds, his expression changed to one of shock and his eyes widened.

"Impossible," he murmured.

Quickly, he turned and started searching the mess of medical supplies that Shepard had made. Miranda's chest was now audibly rising and falling as it should. Unable to do anything for her medically, he leaned down to her ear.

"Miranda," he whispered.

He nearly fell backwards as her eyes fluttered slightly. Even though the pain was agonizing, he gripped her hand tighter, wanting her to know that he was there and that he wasn't going anywhere.

Slowly, her eyes blinked open and she struggled to focus on Shepard. As she finally found him, she flashed the semblance of a weak smile and squeezed his hand ever so slightly.

Speechless with excitement, he could only grin in response. He didn't know what had brought her back and he didn't care. All he knew was that the woman he loved wasn't dead anymore and that was far more than enough for him.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

It'd been almost three days since the events regarding Miranda, and Shepard found himself alone in his office, cleaning his assault rifle for the 50th time. His mind was racing still with questions – why was she at Chora's Den? Who did she give the information to? He'd ask Miranda herself, but she was stuck in the medbay, still trying to recover from her ordeal.

He placed the cloth he was using to clean on his desk, stopping for a moment, and staring off into the horizon as he recalled the night he almost lost her. Mordin came to the conclusion that his 'antidote' worked, causing the the micro-devices that had been injected into her bloodsteam to go into a dormant mode – and neutralized the poison. Shepard wasn't sure if that was comforting news or not.

"Dormant?" He had asked Mordin.

"Yes."

"Does that mean they can be reactivated?"

Mordin had sighed, "Do not know."

Shepard ran a hand across his forehead, "Is there no way to permanently remove them? Or disable them?"

"Possible. Took blood sample – will work on it."

Shepard nodded, placed a hand on Mordin's shoulder, and smiled, "Thank you, Mordin – for everything."

Mordin nodded back and turned back to his tools, quickly going to work on what Shepard hoped was the answer to the problem.

The memory faded quickly as Shepard's thoughts immediately returned to Miranda – who was recovering in the medbay, under the careful care of Dr. Chakwas. He hadn't visited her since they moved her there, something he didn't quite understand. He spent most of the day in his own room, cleaning his weapons over and over – occasionally leaving only to get food from the mess hall, and even then he found himself refusing to stare into the medbay, to catch a glance at her.

His train of thought was interrupted by the sudden hum of his door opening.

"Still up here, huh?" Garrus said as he came into view, leaning against the aquarium across from Shepard.

Shepard rested his assault rifle against his desk, glancing briefly up to Garrus before sighing, "Yup, guess so."

"Joker filled me in on what happened while we were gone. Sorry I wasn't here for ya, Shepard."

"Don't worry about it, Garrus. How was your time off?"

Garrus brightened up a bit, "Oh man, I don't think I've been more exhausted over the course of two weeks in my life."

Shepard laughed, "Oh? That much fun, huh?"

Garrus folded his arms, nodding slightly, "That much fun. How's Miranda doing?"

Shepard turned and looked at his terminal, reading the most recent medical report Dr. Chakwas sent him, "Seems to be doing fine."

"Have you been down there lately?"

Shepard paused, "I haven't."

"Why not?"

He gave a small shrug as he lifted his assault rifle back onto his lap – beginning to clean it once more. Garrus stepped forward and shook his head, "You should go see her," he said before exiting the chamber, the doors hissing closed behind him.

Shepard paused once more, holding the cloth over the barrel of the rifle as thoughts ran through his mind. Garrus was right, he should be down there with her – like she was for him after the suicide mission, but something was holding him back.

Did he feel guilty for what happened – and didn't want to be reminded of the results of his failure? He should've left the Normandy sooner – to go after her sooner. He might've been able to save her then from whatever it was that harmed her – protect her, like he promised he would. But he knew she wasn't a woman that needed protection – if she couldn't handle the situation by herself, what made him think that he could? She was his equal in almost every way imaginable. If she failed – how could he succeed?

This wasn't something he was used to, he realized. He had spent most of his life alone – going from mission to mission with only having to worry about getting his men in and out of the place alive. It added a whole new perspective when one of those people was a woman he loved. He found himself going out of his way to protect her – when he knew she could do it herself. He made rasher decisions based upon what would keep her safe rather than the best way.

He threw the cloth onto the desk and leaned back into his chair, resting his hands on the rifle. He was the reason she got hurt – plain and simple – and he vowed right then and there that he would change. He would go back to the way he used to be – calculative and unpredictable in battle, for the sake of his team, Miranda – and humanity.

He would start by seeing her – it had been too long and inside, he felt guilty for not being down there 24/7 like he should have been. He stood up and placed the rifle on his desk, stretching a bit before walking to the door that led to the elevator. He wasn't surprised when he saw that it was still on his level – with a friendly turian leaning against its back wall, "Ready?"

Shepard smirked and stepped inside, punching the button that would take them down to the medbay.


	3. Chapter 3  Closure

Author's Note;

Well, I must say - it has been a very, very long time since this story initially came out. While I wish I could complete it, I'm going to have to regretfully say that I will be shelving this story. For those of you who have been following me for over the past two years, even in my absence... Thank you, words can't describe the joy it brings to have people read and appreciate my story from years ago.

But do not fret! For while I may be shelving this one, I am working on another to please not only myself as a writer and lover of the character, Miranda Lawson, but as a make up for being unable to finish this. Thank you again for the support - and watch this channel soon for updates.

-Rathias


End file.
